I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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