As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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