We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize