i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
