we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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