Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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