It's Friday. Sex?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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