2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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