whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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