We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
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today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
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Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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