you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's just like the Real World with babies
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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