Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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