so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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