____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It's no shave November. This is our time.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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