At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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