I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize