Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize