I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You smell like a Billy Joel song
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
