scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
