I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
