So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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