Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
