i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
