It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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