Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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