Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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