a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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