I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
