went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
