i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
