How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So much Jack, so little girl.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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