I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
How many fucks given?
0.12846
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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