i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
