her vagine was all disorganized.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
