i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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