My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
