So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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