oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
