I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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