i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
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