I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
