Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
