i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
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the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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