a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
