Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize