Can Purell be used as lube?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We need to feng shui this bitch.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
