you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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