where am i from again
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
