Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
