Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
