I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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