I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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