We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
