It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize