i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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