We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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