She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
