no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
